A Poem for Parents Who Have Lost a Child

There are a lot of hurting people out there today.  One of the most painful experiences anyone can go through is to lose a child.  It’s not right, somehow. You never think you’re going to have your child die before you do.  These are some of the responses that others have shared with me about losing their child. It doesn’t matter how old your child is when you lose them, it’s always hard.  Never say to someone, “Well, at least you had them for ____ years.”  Or the other extreme, when someone loses a child through miscarriage, “Well, at least you never really knew them–that would be worse.”  Miscarriage affects millions and can be devastating to parents. (Click here for Miscarriage statistics and helpful information.)

Sometimes well-meaning people make things worse by playing down the loss.  In 1987 we suffered the loss of our child through miscarriage. (I believe that I may have miscarried numerous times before this, but we won’t be sure until we arrive in heaven and meet “our children”).
The Lord gave me the words to this poem as I grieved.  I dedicate it to you moms and dads whose little one is in heaven with Jesus now, running and jumping and playing, while you are here on earth.  I pray that it will minister to your heart, beloved hurting friend.

My Child Died Today
My Child died today.
Is anyone aware?
My Child died today.
Does anybody care?
My Child died today.
Dear God,
Are You up there?

My Child died today.
The pain is more than I can bear.
I cried out to the LORD in anguish
“How could You do this to me?”
I could not comprehend at first
These precious gems of truth learned slowly
But I felt His presence surround me
And His soft voice say,
“I feel your pain and I do care,
You’re not the only one,
You see, two thousand years ago,
I also lost a Son.
I suffer with you, know your sorrow,
Understand your fears.
For back what seems only a day
A debt there was to pay:
To give to you Eternal Life
I tried to find a way
So you could live, I chose to say
My Child Died Today.”
© Wendy Trachy Gunn 1988
If you know someone who is hurting and would benefit by receiving a copy of this poem,
please feel free to copy it, but keep it in its entirety, unedited, with copyright info.  Thank you.
My prayer is that it will help bring healing to many who are hurting from the loss of a child.

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10 Replies to “A Poem for Parents Who Have Lost a Child”

  1. The Lord took our first three children to Himself, and since then has given us three on loan. This poem was written after my second miscarriage:

    I would have laughed with you, my child,
    And talked with you all day.
    I would have sang with you, my child,
    And taught you how to pray.

    When Daddy’s car came in the drive
    We’d both run to the door,
    And in his arms he’d throw you high–
    You’d squeal and beg for more.

    Instead our arms are empty now–
    Your face we only dream.
    Yet He who took you in His own
    Fair bosom, safely keeps.

    What hasn’t been, shall one day be
    When come to Heaven’s door,
    For there our little child restored,
    We’ll part again no more.

    We will not teach you there to pray,
    To laugh or dance or sing,
    Instead we’ll join you, perfect, whole,
    In praises to our King.

    by Doreen Tamminga

    1. Doreen,
      This is beautiful. That hope and the joy we’ll have, eternally, shall not be taken away. Thank you so much for sharing this precious poem.

  2. Robin, I am blessed when something I wrote from my heart blesses someone else. The Lord is so good to take our pain and redeem it and as He says, The comfort which we have been comforted with we are able to share with others. (my paraphrase). God’s comfort is like none other. Praise Him.
    2 Corinthians 1:2-4: “Grace be to you and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
    3Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
    4Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”

  3. Hi Jennifer and Welcome! Thank you for letting me know that these books not only look good but are good! I also really appreciate your link to other options. I will be checking out your book, and took a quick look at your recent posts. (Sorry your week has been difficult! Love your attitude–God is shining through you!)
    You said in your comment, “The poem is also one of my long-time favorites.” Are you referring to “My Child Died Today”? If so, I am curious about something. I wrote the poem, and I am blessed that it's one of your favorites, but I haven't actually ever had it published, so I'm wondering where you had a chance to see it–(I did allow a cousin's wife to include it in a publication, perhaps that's where you saw it)!
    (Also, I thought I should clarify that I wasn't Homeschooled myself, but I Homeschooled my children, who are now graduated–and I'm not sure how to say that, so it gets confusing! Sorry for the confusion:)
    I so appreciate your kind comments, and hope to see you back here soon.

    1. Just a note: I have since removed the links, as I no longer am an affiliate and had not personally read the books, I felt I shouldn’t recommend them until I had. If you find excellent books on the subject of miscarriage and comfort during this time of loss, please email me; I would love to look at them and have a list of good resources (faithsfirmfoundation@embarqmail.com) to share with others.
      Thanks, and Blessings,

  4. I can attest personally that both of these books you have linked are excellent! The poem is also one of my long-time favorites. I've listed several more book options at Finding Christian Support for Infertility and Miscarriage

    Thank you for this beautiful blog and all the resources you share.
    jenni saake
    author Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage & Adoption Loss

    P.S. I'm also homeschool graduate, now homeschooling my own precious miracles as well.

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