Love and Marriage: God Leads a Wife Through Her Husband (An Unpopular Lesson)

2014-02-19 18.07.15

Why can’t we fly to Washington, DC?  You haven’t given one valid reason.”  My grown children, especially, had trouble accepting my husband’s decision to drive, rather than use our frequent flyer miles, on this long-awaited family vacation to our nation’s capitol.  We had been accruing frequent flyer miles through our credit card for years, saving them up for a trip…this trip.  Now, it was assumed that we would be using them for that purpose.

My husband’s suggestion to drive quickly turned into a decision to drive, with no discussion.  It was not really like him.  And he was not only not discussing it, he would get almost irate about it if we brought it up.  What was going on?  I didn’t understand.  The kids didn’t understand.  We had some non-discussions with elevated volume which I did not enjoy.

I went to the Lord.  Dane, Kelsey and I REALLY wanted to fly!  I needed to talk to the Lord and give up this desire to Him.  I needed Him to make me able to submit and accept whatever my husband decided. I needed to be able to show respect for my husband to my children, and I was ending up the mediator and translator between them.  I needed help.

When I went to the Lord, He changed my attitude so fast.  He met me. He let me know in no uncertain terms that this wasn’t Jerry’s idea–it was His idea.  He gave me such a peace, and I mean fast!  Total 180 degrees.  Boom!  For some reason, we were not supposed to fly. And I knew it as surely as I knew my name. I was able to think of reasons very easily.  Maybe we were being protected.  Maybe there was some danger we were averting by driving.  Something we were being saved from!  We needed to trust.

I went to the kids and shared with them what the Lord had shown me.  They didn’t feel the same immediate acquiescence.  It wasn’t so easy for them–they hadn’t heard from the Lord.  But the tension got better.  My submission affected their attitudes.  There were still times when I said to my husband, “Are you sure?”  or “Boy, would it be nice to be able to fly and have more time out there–we’re going to have to skip seeing some of these things.”  But, for the most part, I was at peace!

When we realized that our friend, Cristina De Hoyos, didn’t have long to live, and we began to consider going to Mexico for the funeral, should something happen, we had no idea how important that decision to drive to Washington, DC, would become.  I started to do some research on flights into Monterrey, MX, for 4 people.  It was clear we wouldn’t all be going unless we used frequent flyer miles, because the flights were way too expensive, but I wasn’t sure we had enough frequent flyer miles.  As it turned out, we didn’t need enough for all 4 of us to go, because the guys had to stay home and work, but it took 2/3 of our miles for Kelsey and I to go. God showed me that Jerry’s decision to drive had been huge. If I had had my way, and we had used our miles to go to Washington, we would not have been able to go to Mexico. We would not have been there for our friends when Cristina died.

God knew.

Jerry didn’t know why he felt so strongly about it, or why we had to drive, but God led through him.  God doesn’t have to tell us the “Why”–He doesn’t owe us anything–and in my experience, He doesn’t reveal the “Why” right away very often. In this case He did.  First I submitted. Then He let me see “Why.”

It makes me feel Him very near.

His Hand on my shoulder and His breath on my hair.

He is doing something Important.

I look around and pay more attention. He is very near.

He is leading through my husband.

That’s how He works.

But not just for me.

For every wife.

By the Grace of my Heavenly Father alone, through His Son, Jesus Christ.

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