Should We Seek Wise Companions for Our Children?

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When Desiring to Seek Wise Companions for your children (or yourself):

Pray more, seek less.

God uses loneliness in our lives

  • Don’t automatically try to get rid of loneliness
  • God often uses loneliness to bring a person into a closer relationship with Him.
  • God may use loneliness to make a person realize their need for salvation or to take them deeper spiritually, or to help them learn some important lesson
  • God may remove friends (close doors) in order to lead a person to go after other interests, goals, pursuits, and dreams (opening other doors) that He will use in the future (perhaps leading them to do great things!)

Examples abound when you’re reading biographies of the childhood of famous people, (for instance, great scientists and famous hymnwriters–I recommend reading the “Childhood of Famous Americans Series“:  books that will make a difference and become “wise companions” for your children in your Homeschool).

God May Be Giving More Time

God knows what we’re going to go through in the future and often frees up our time by removing people and/or activities for a time, for some or all of these reasons:

  1. To strengthen us spiritually for a trial ahead (by allowing us to have more time in the Word of God)
  2. To prepare us for an expansion of ministry, by deepening our message through what we learn while enduring this trial
  3. To free us to accomplish things that need to be done, and/or encourage us to become more organized, because He knows we won’t have time later, or some event is going to happen which will require these things to be accomplished

God Brings the Best Friends

  • In quality of friendships
  • In length of friendships
  • In depth of relationships
  • The most wise, and ones that we have the most things in common with that are truly important

God Knows Our Need and Theirs

  • We maybe would never choose this friend. But He knows we need them:
  1. For what we’re lacking in character
  2. For spiritual direction and growth
  3. For what we can share with them spiritually
  • We are prone to looking on the outside, but God knows the hearts

God Has An Eternal Perspective in View

  • We (sometimes) just want good friends and happiness
  • God wants His glory for His Name
  • God wants spiritual fruit in our lives
  • God knows when we need trials to bring about more fruit and growth, which will glorify Him
  • God knows their and our whole future

God Is More Concerned with Our Becoming Wise Companions Than Our Finding Them

Instead of Seeking Wise Companions:

  • Study the characteristics of wisdom
  • Pursue wisdom
  • Develop inner Godliness and character
  • Pray to become wiser
  • Avoid foolish people
  • Do projects that will develop the characteristics of wisdom in you and your family

If you are wise, wise companions will be drawn to you

If you are not wise, wise companions will not want to be your companion (unless they’re discipling you) even if you seek them out and find them.

The Friends God Brings Are The Best

  • Pray that God will bring wise companions
  • When God brings wise Godly friendships, foster them
  • Learn from those wise people He brings into your life
  • Still be discerning and check everything against the Word
  • Remember that no one is perfect and even wise companions do foolish things sometimes
  • Remember God is Your Best Friend, the Only True Cure for Loneliness, and the Only Perfect Example you can follow
  • Never stop making brothers and sisters best friends
  • Always cultivate your family relationships first next to your relationship with the Lord

I’m linking up today at Raising Homemakers with the Homemaking Link-up! Please let me know you were here and enter the discussion!
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7 Replies to “Should We Seek Wise Companions for Our Children?”

  1. I just added that to my prayer request yesterday and here comes your post in the afternoon Wendy! I was taken back at how the Lord answers our prayer when we ask for guidance. I have to re-read and re-read. This is good post. Thank You. Yes! friends and everything else that comes after filtered through God’s mighty hands is good. right? Always a blessing and He doesn’t add anything to that! The Spirit of the living God placed in your heart to write this because He saw that I had the same question about these things ! Praise the Lord!

    I often tend to think something is wrong on my side( I hadn’t been a good friend) whenever something goes wrong). It could be true but what you have said could also be true. He is in control! Thank you for blessing me my dear friend!
    love you,

    1. As I said to Heather, it gives me chills and is so encouraging when His timing and leading is so evident. Praise the Lord!

      God says that before we even ask, He is working the answer to our prayers. I remember reading the Childhood of Famous Americans books (we got them from the library–GRRL system that you’re in, Vijaya) and it struck me when I’d read, on more than one occasion, how a child would respond to some real trial of loneliness, or losing a parent, or having a physical problem that caused them to be isolated, by pursuing their interest in science, or music, art or some such, (or sometimes it just made them very compassionate and care about others with problems) which was the beginning of what was to be their contribution to society which made them eventually famous!

      It made you grateful that they’d suffered that trial, because it made them a far better person, and you wondered if you’d have ever heard of them or benefited from their work, if they hadn’t been isolated from friends and had to miss out on much of what was normal for other children.

  2. Wow, then I firmly believe that your prompting was from the Lord and meant for us as one of it’s readers. I was wracking my brain, “Had I even mentioned any of this struggle of mine to Wendy on Sat.? How else could it be so perfectly timed?” I see now. Wow.

    1. I should also say that I had read Amy’s post over at Raising Arrows about how important friendships are in your children’s lives. I recommend reading it. I didn’t leave a comment there, because it would have been too long:) It’s not that I disagree that friendships are very, very important, but that we need to see a much bigger picture.

      God started working in my heart and brain, and then woke me up early in the morning with all these thoughts, literally as you read them. It always gives me chills when God works like this, and I am so grateful that you said something! It just fills me with gratitude, and doesn’t it strengthen your faith? I know it does mine. What a blessing!

  3. Thank the Lord, Heather. God woke me with this post this morning, and I got out of bed at 5:30 a.m. to write what He’d laid on my heart. I realize just now that I forgot to add the Scripture references! Sorry! That’s quite important.

    Much more can be said about companions and this whole area of friendship, and I may write more of a series on it, as I feel it’s such an important area of child-raising. So thankful to the Lord for His comfort and encouragement to you.
    I’m praying,

  4. The timing of this in my life is amazingly AMAZING! One of my kids needs to read this right now and it’s an issue that we’re in the thick of at the moment. Some of what you’ve said, I’ve talked to said child about, but to see it written down and coming from you is a comfort to me, the Mom in the situation. Very validating and some new points I hadn’t thought of as well.

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