The Tongue of a Woman

by Wendy on August 15, 2013

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The Bible says that the tongue is a fire.  James 3:6  Think of the good that fire can do, but then think of the destruction that fire can cause.

I was thinking about gossip recently.  My first thought was, “I don’t do that.” But, then, “Do I, Lord?  Is it possible I do?”

As I mentor moms, I’m constantly aware of the example of my words and often aware of how poor that example is!  But, at home, too, am I being a Godly example as a mom in my speech? How about when I’m on the phone?  What is the example that my children are seeing and will follow? Do I gossip to my husband, thinking that it doesn’t matter if I’m gossiping, because I tell him everything? Am I being a Godly helpmeet, by speaking edifying words to my husband–building him up–or are my words tearing down?  Might there be ways I can share with him things he needs to know, without gossiping?

The other day I was thinking (in a rather judgmental way) about others who had spread gossip and I suddenly felt the conviction of the Lord as He reminded me of times when I hadn’t used discretion in my speech.  As I thought about it, the Lord revealed to me that

There are three times that I’m especially tempted:

  • I fall into gossiping when I’m with certain people. This usually is when I’m with my very closest friends, who I know understand me and probably will agree with what I’m saying. I let my guard down, and often don’t even try to say things in an especially kind way. I know “they understand what I mean,” right?
  • I start gossiping when I start talking too fast or too much. This often happens when I’ve had too much caffeine:) Note to self: curbing caffeine intake = curbing sinning with my mouth.

“In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.”  Proverbs 10:19

Here are some questions, just for starters, to ask ourselves before we speak that may prevent us falling into the sin of gossiping:

  • Do I know for certain that what I’m saying is true?
  • Would I want it said of me?
  • Even if it is true, does it need to be repeated?
  • Is it a good report?
  • Am I the one to say it?
  • Have I gone to the person directly to confirm the report?

As I think of the example Jesus left for us, and all His wise counsel in the Word, it causes me to ask myself:

  • How trustworthy am I?
  • How loving am I?

These verses from Scripture come to mind as I think of the tongue.

“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”  Proverbs 15:1

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”  Proverbs 31:26

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Theresa September 12, 2013 at 2:08 PM

Thank you for the gentle reminder, Wendy. This is an area that I think we’ll always be growing in. Love you!

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