“A Helping of Hospitality” #4: 3 Things To Do and 1 Thing Not To Do Before You Even Begin Inviting

“A Helping of Hospitality”Easter 2011 dessert

We’ve been talking about Hospitality and looking at our heart and motivations. It has transformed my hospitality completely to put into practice what I shared with you in the video, “A Helping of Hospitality #2.” Click on the link if you haven’t watched that video or need to refresh your memory.

Don’t Miss the Rest of the Series:

“A Helping of Hospitality #1”: Tips to Help you Begin (or Begin Again!)
“A Helping of Hospitality #2”: The Most Important Thing to Do in Preparation
“A Helping of Hospitality #3”:  Not Just at Home
“A Helping of Hospitality #4”: Three Things to Do and One Not to Do Before you Even Begin!

This post is in two parts, as it is so important, there was way more that I wanted to say than fit into one post, so here is #4, Part A in this series, “A Helping of Hospitality.” Have you learned anything new? Have you tried out any of the tips you’ve heard? I really hope so. I would love to hear about your family’s hospitality. As you think and pray about what practicing hospitality is going to look like in your home and family, here are some things to consider (preferably) before we even begin to invite anyone:)

  1. Don’t Compare
  2. Do Submit to your own husband.
  3. Do Remember that there are Seasons in life.
  4. Do Give your Expectations to God.
  1. Oh, dear friends, if there is one thing that will tear us apart, and make us unfruitful in God’s kingdom, that one thing may be comparing ourselves to others. We all are tempted in this area at times, but it can destroy us. So, I beg of you, please don’t compare yourself with others. But, that’s easier said than done, isn’t it? So, here are some positive things to DO to keep from comparing.

Let’s keep our eyes on Jesus, read and memorize God’s Word, and believe it! Especially when we’re tempted. And listen to God.

Remember that each and every one of us:

  • was uniquely created by God,

  • has a unique and special purpose,

  • was given unique and special gifts and talents,

  • has a unique life story unlike anyone else’s,

  • has had experiences that no one else has had,

and all these things make up the one and only you. Add to that that if you are married, you live with a husband who is also a uniquely created and gifted being, and however many children you have who are also unique.

What that means is:

There is no other family on earth

like yours. 

So, remember that God has a unique and special plan for you and your family.

It’s not going to be the same as anyone else’s. You will miss it by comparing.

  1. God has commanded us to obey or submit to WHO (or is it WHOM)? Your own husband. Whether you are just getting started in practicing hospitality, or you could write a book on the subject, if you’re married, you need to talk to your husband about his desires for the hospitality that you show. Ask him who he’d like to invite over and when. Ask him what level of involvement he wants to have in hospitality. He doesn’t have to necessarily be involved in every aspect (making the menu, for instance, might be all yours, unless your husband wants to be involved). But, talk to him. Ask him what level of hospitality he wants your family to be practicing. How often? How many people? How formal or informal?  Does he prefer you have one woman over during the day for coffee? Or, would he like to have a family over for dinner once a month? Would he like to be hosting a group in your home weekly? Or, is he interested in planning major events involving hundreds of people? These are all examples of practicing hospitality, but at very different levels. Talk to him and let him lead.

You see that there are as many different levels of hospitality as there are ways of practicing it, because God has made us all unique, and He plans to use us in His world uniquely!  Practicing allows us to be able to do things on a grander scale at some point than we could when we first began.  But, being able to do something doesn’t automatically mean we’re supposed to do it. (Cross stitch THAT and put it on the wall!) Are we called to that kind of hospitality? Be listening to God and to your husband.

I would recommend that, when asked if you can host an event, or you come up with an idea to invite someone over, you always ask your husband first. There have been many times that my husband said, “No,” and I didn’t understand at all (and sometimes strongly disagreed), and then later I was so very grateful and saw that God had protected me by my husband’s, “No,” from being way overburdened and overbooked.  Things happened that neither of us knew were going to, but God knows, and even when our husbands don’t know all the reasons why, we should listen and submit, knowing that God is fully capable of using them to lead us.

Come back next time for the end of this post on 3 Things to Do and 1 Not to Do Before you Even Begin.

By the Grace of my Heavenly Father alone, through His Son, Jesus Christ.

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Attention Married Couples


I’m posting At the Well today

A little attention and common courtesy go a long way in marriage. “But, it’s Christmas time and I’m especially busy now,” I can hear you say. Have you been awfully busy lately? That’s what we all could probably say.  But. When is life not busy?

Do we wives look like a blur rushing by our husbands?  When’s the last time you really stopped and looked at him? Close your eyes and try to picture his face.  No, I’m serious! If you can’t see his face very clearly, may I suggest you take a good long look at your wonderful husband tonight.

Well, on that note, please read my post over At the Well today and you’ll find a marriage tip that is said to have the potential to revolutionize anyone’s marriage.

And here are some recent posts you might have missed:

A Helping of Hospitality #1–A video by me, helping you to overcome the obstacles that are preventing you from practicing hospitality.

Focusing on Family and Priorities More–Why you’re seeing less of me here and enjoying it more.

Kaleo Magazine is Here and I’m in it They did a beautiful job on this first edition of the new online magazine, Kaleo! You’ll enjoy all the articles that will give you help and turn your focus to what’s truly important this Christmas season.

Calm Heart, Organized Christmas #4 (Being Flexible)

Hope you’re celebrating a memorable and Christ-centered Christmas season!

(Look for a review here very soon of the new book by Hal and Melanie Young, Christ-Centered Christmas–The Ultimate Guide to Celebrating a Christmas Your Family Will Never Forget.)
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