Sometimes Family Reunions Are No Picnic (repost)

For some Homeschooling families, being with extended family and attending family reunions is no picnic!

If you are going to be attending a family reunion soon, here are some tips that may help you:

  • Be “Prayed Up”

Before you are going to be with family or others who you have reason to believe will not share your beliefs or will attack your decisions regarding Homeschooling, child-training, dress, or way of life, be in serious prayer, binding Satan and bathing yourself in the Word.  Be “prayed-up” as they say.  You know, I think God has really used family gatherings in my life to cause me to take a good hard look at myself and our immediate family.  It has caused me to examine myself, which is very necessary. I need to confess any known sin, and make sure that I’m not haughty and proud.  I need to have the right attitude towards others and respond rightly to their comments.  So, in this sense, it has been a good thing. When you’re attacked or challenged, thank the Lord for it and don’t be bitter.

  • Keep a Clear Conscience

When attending a family reunion you can be walking into a spiritual battle. We must go into them prepared.  Keeping a clear conscience is really important.  You’ll get clobbered if  you try to go into a spiritual battle in your own strength.  Get rid of hidden sin.  Like the Israelites in the battle of Ai, you can’t have hidden sins, and try to go into a battle and have victory!

  • Let your husband do the talking

Whenever possible, let your husband answer any questions, and generally be the spokesman for defending or explaining your beliefs, choices and convictions to others, (especially when at a family reunion of his side of the family!).  Stay physically by his side, so you are protected. (Other benefits to this are that you will enjoy the shoulder-to-shoulder time, too.  And you will have his help with the children.)

What To Do When You’re Cornered

I have found  myself “cornered” sometimes, despite my best efforts.  When this happens I shoot up a prayer to the Lord, and by the help of the Holy Spirit, (and trying to respond in a spirit of love, as much as possible), I just do the best that I can.

But, when this happens to you, if all is well between God and you, don’t allow these confrontations to undermine your determination to follow what you believe the Lord is leading you to do with raising your children and in your family.  Don’t allow these confrontations to shake your confidence in following the Lord, and doing the right thing, as long as, before the Lord, and talking with your husband, you honestly believe you are.

But do let it cause you to be on your knees more, confessing any pride, arrogance, haughtiness, selfishness, lack of love for others, etc., etc. We need to humble ourselves so that the Lord doesn’t have to!

Confess and correct any bad attitudes you have toward those who attack and question you and look for opportunities to show love to and for them, and to serve them. If I’m really loving others and looking for ways to serve them, it’s amazing how the hostilities and confrontations melt away.

I think God has allowed me to endure attacks just so that I would learn to show Christ-like love to people (maybe He wanted them to come to Christ and He used this, or maybe He wanted me to learn to love my “enemies” better).

The bottom line when interacting with extended family members is to show love to them while still protecting your children from harm. In an amazingly short time your “fruit” will speak for itself—literally!

What You Have To Look Forward To!

Your wonderful Christ-like teenagers and young adult children will answer for themselves, and share their own convictions about the way you, as a family, do things.  They will have made your standards “their own,” assuming the standards are Biblical and you have shown them why from the Bible you do what you do.

They will exhibit a love for the Lord and others, and your harshest critics will now become your most ardent supporters!  Your children’s love for the Lord and Godly lives will show that you did the right thing and family members who predicted doom for you will now see that the bad things they thought would happen because of your choices not only didn’t happen, but rather produced the very thing they admire and respect!

Your teenagers and grown-up children will now have their own convictions in their hearts and be the best spokesmen for Homeschooling and following the ways of God in raising children the way you tried to do.

Then you will sincerely and truthfully say, “It was by God’s grace, and for His glory alone, but I gratefully praise Him for the wonderful children we have!”
May God bless you as you strive to live for the Lord and interact with family this summer!
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“What Were You Thinking, Lord?” (Part 2) Manage It (Victorious in Christ) Monday

Reading the book of Esther in the Old Testament, I see that she was an excellent example of a person who had to deal with the principle of accepting your design and she was used greatly by God in doing so. We may think, “Oh, sure, she was gorgeous, lived in a palace–what did she have to worry about!” But, every person–Every Person–has something that they have to accept about their circumstances or looks. In Esther’s case, it wasn’t her looks, but her circumstances, that she had to accept.  She was from a despised people-group, she was “invisible” and “powerless” because she was a woman; and she had a tyrant husband whose anger was legendary.

There were certain characteristics that God had prescribed for Esther, just as He does for each one of us–characteristics that were unique, and that couldn’t be changed.  There are at least 10 of these which every person needs to accept as coming from God. In Esther’s life, here were the 10 “unchangeables” she had to deal with:
  1. Parents: She had none.  Her parents were both dead and she was raised by an older cousin
  2. Time in History: She lived at a time when her country was besieged and her people were taken into captivity and they had to live under a ruthless king
  3. People Group: born in Israel (a despised people who were taken into captivity), born into the lesser tribe of Benjamin
  4. Nationality: Jewish (Jews were not highly thought of, often despised, and even persecuted)
  5. Gender: She was a female, which, at that time in history, and in that place, was very low, and insignificant, and powerless
  6. Birth Order: There is no report that she had any siblings
  7. Brothers and Sisters: none mentioned
  8. Physical Features: She was “fair of form and good of countenance” (In other words, she was a “knockout”/gorgeous)
  9. Mental Abilities: The Bible doesn’t make a big statement of her mental abilities. Her strength came in obeying the counsel of her authority,  Mordecai, and in her wisdom, not her knowledge or reasoning ability.
  10. Aging and Death: She was young, but her life was very much in danger, so she had to accept God’s timing on how long she would live and when and how she would die.
Being beautiful doesn’t automatically mean that you’ll be happy or that life will be a “piece of cake.” It wasn’t so in Esther’s life. God used her gender, nationality, time in history and physical features to place her in the position of being used by Him to save her people. But she had to accept her circumstances and trust God in the midst of them. She didn’t know how it would turn out!

We don’t know how things will turn out either. Esther is a wonderful example of sweet, humble acceptance of the place and circumstances God places you in. And she shows us one of the important things we can do when God allows us to be in difficult circumstances. She prayed and fasted. Moreover, she asked others to join her and pray for her! That’s a great lesson!

We can’t always see the big picture of why God made us the way He did, or for what purpose He allows us to be in the circumstances we’re in.  When Esther’s people faced probable annihilation, and she was in the position of risking her life by going before her husband-king without being called for, her guardian/cousin Mordecai gave her counsel which may apply to us, as well.
 Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king’s house, more than all the Jews.
 For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:13-14

God will accomplish His purposes, one way or another.  If you are not willing to be used by Him–to accept your design, and/or circumstances and be the vessel He has perfectly suited for His purposes–letting Him decide what kind of pot you will be and what you will be used for–then He will accomplish His purposes, but He may choose to use someone else who will  yield to Him to accomplish them.

There is another promise which should give us comfort.  God promises (if we’re a Christian) to work all things out for our good and to use them to conform us to the image of Jesus Christ.

Romans 8:28-29 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.”

How did Christ respond to His “unchangeables”? and to His unpleasant circumstances? With meekness and trust, and with love for His enemies.

What does the Bible say about His looks?  Isaiah 53:2 “He hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.” The family that God’s given to us, the features we would like to change, the hard places we find ourselves in which we can’t change are all the means of His character being formed in us, if we receive His grace to respond to them in a Christlike way, with patience, perseverance, gratefulness and contentment, seeing them as from the Lord. But if we fight against His plan, or take ourselves “off the easel” before He’s done with us, we may miss out on the amazing things He wants to do in and through us; we may miss out on God’s best.

Regarding trying circumstances, there’s something that happens in us when we thank God for them.

James 1:2-4 says,
“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

Trials and trying circumstances and trying people (these may include relatives and family members) are God’s tools to form His character in us, so when we respond rightly to them, the character of meekness, patience, gentleness, and other qualities of Christ are formed in us. Sometimes we look at what God is doing in us, or how He has made us so far, and we jump off the easel thinking He’s not doing a very good job and we could do it better. We must get back up on the easel and let God keep working–we don’t see the picture the Master Artist is painting, and we must trust Him.

In Esther’s life, when she faced very unpleasant (life and death) circumstances, the Bible records these words that her guardian, Mordecai, said to her: “Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” And who knows what God will do in and through us when we respond in thanks and trust to His design of our lives.

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*Definitions taken from Institute in Basic Life Principles,